The Opinuary Column



The Opinion "No One Should Ask, No One Should Tell" has died after years of asking and telling (off the record, mind you). It will not be buried right away but will instead lie in state for a few months, or until enough time passes that gnarly, old men can be distracted by the neighbor's kids playing on their lawns. Born 17 years ago, the Opinion was a perfect fit for a nation that was already comfortable with living as many lies as it could think up. Eventually, after discharging thousands of soldiers for the sin of putting their naughty bits where Yahweh didn't want them to, the military softened its stance and withdrew from the battle. And then toweled off.

The family of the Opinion thinks flowers would be lovely. Remembrances may be made to the land where the clouds are far behind, where troubles melt like lemon drops away above the chimney tops, that's where you can donate, because just over the rainbow there are armed forces practicing and employing their deadly trade. Straight, gay or a combination thereof, the Country of Record keeps the wars a coming...

(Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! If you're gay and in the military don't tell anyone yet--those in a position of authority might get a hard on for you!)

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