Wife Number 3 Had it Right

*Apologies to Mr. Sondheim 






Ain’t it a bitch?

Why should I care?

Wife Number Three had it right

A true icy stare

Those fucking clowns

Isn’t this great?

Feeling that groove

I smell like a barn

What’s left to prove? 

Goddamn those clowns

Those fucking clowns


Just when I’d stopped shopping at stores

Finally knowing that God is the one who adores

Pitching my products again to the gathering mob

They’re shopping online

Nobody cares

Don’t you love Trump?

(Our fault, it’s clear

We thought he’d play for awhile

then disappear)

But those fucking clowns

Those goddamn clowns

Hey! Look who’s here!


Man, I am rich!

Give me a cheer!

Being the boss once again—what a career!

But wait—am I seeing clowns?

Nothing but clowns

Can’t wait for next year

Yes, it’s a bitch

Yes, it’s a bear

Me here again with the crown

fixing my hair

Can’t wait for the clowns


Give me a kiss

Nothing to lose

One who can not tell the truth

One who can’t die

Great—there are the clowns

My nightmare, the clowns

Just when I stopped shitting my pants

Finally knowing I get off on all of your rants

Strutting my entrance again, so debonair

Where is Roy Cohn?

He ought to be here


Don’t you love farts?

My art, it’s clear

I thought that you’d eat it up

From my derrière 

The makeup, the frowns

But those fucking clowns

There’s got to be clowns

Just tune in next year


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