The Opinion "Human Beings would never elect a Monster Truck to be their leader" has died after an acute abdominal aortic aneurysm. The Opinion was thirty-two years of age, and had been in reasonably good health before the Citizens United ruling as handed down by the SCOTUS. Monster Truck enthusiasts greeted the news with a series of war whoops, yelps, howls, guttural screams and hollers. Democracy is ending! The time of the Monster Truck Leader is here!
The first Monster Truck candidates are expected to form exploratory PACs by early spring of 2011, in anticipation of the upcoming 2012 primaries. With their size and maneuverability, they are expected to dominate the political scene and flatten their opponents prior to the final Monster Truck Mash-Up on Election Day in November of 2012. Media moguls, banking interests, insurance corporations, military industrial complex concerns and fossil fuel entities will be fielding a lineup of killer metal giants in what may be the most exciting presidential contest ever seen! Tuesday, November 6th, 2012! Be there! Be there! Be there!
The Opinion will be dearly missed by all who believed that the richest people in the United States would not be able to manipulate a majority of the voting public via distractions and relentless propaganda, and by the sheer force of their economic power. In lieu of flowers the family of the deceased is looking for good seats at the Monster Truck Election. It should be totally awesome!
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