The Opinuary Column



i have dreamed a wild dream
i have suckled so obscene
i have taken many hits
i must be really lit
i'm having a strange fit
i see three hundred million and ten
three hundred and ten million tits

i was fumbling with her bra
a billion hooks that grab like claws
i would woo her with my wits
we should be putting on the Ritz
please somebody: somebody help me with these tits

oh, momma
oh, momma
valhala
wow-wowza
oh, my darling
oh, darling momma
man, you have a lot of tits

i brought her close for just a taste
not a drop would i dare waste
let me cradle with my mitts
like fine cherries without pits
three hundred and ten million--that's a whole lot of tits

we were kissing at the bar
then i walked her to my car
she is smart, she ain't no ditz
she filled my heart with so much bliss
and she had so many tits!

i was fumbling with her bra
a billion hooks that grab like claws
i would woo her with my wits
we should be putting on the Ritz
please somebody: somebody help me with these tits

oh, momma
oh, momma
valhala
wow-wowza
oh, my darling
oh, darling momma
man, you have a lot of tits

now i'm old and low on cash
putting ointment on my rash
i still have a burning need
i need those tits so i can feed
please somebody: somebody help me with these tits

i have dreamed a wild dream
i have suckled so obscene
i have taken many hits
i must be really lit
i'm having a strange fit
i see three hundred million and ten
three hundred and ten million tits

i was fumbling with her bra
a billion hooks that grab like claws
i would woo her with my wits
we should be putting on the Ritz
please somebody: somebody help me with these tits

oh, momma
oh, momma
valhala
wow-wowza
oh, my darling
oh, darling momma
you have got so many tits


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Public domain image of She Wolf suckling Romulus and Remus from WIKIMEDIA COMMONS.

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