Back in the 70s I had the great pleasure of being a complete idiot, a talent I have retained all these years, I might add. Often drunk or stoned or both, I defeated my inner desires to make sense of the world on a daily basis. The best that can be said of me in that time is that I met and had the company of truly unique human beings. One of those human beings, a large gerber baby of a man who had dark curly hair and would often pull at his penis through his giant denim pants, well, he had a tremendous talent for turns of phrase. I cannot do justice to him here (or am just plain refusing to) but one of his catch phrases still pops out of my mouth from time to time, usually apropos of nothing. The phrase he uttered at seemingly random moments was the title of this posting:
Excuse me, but aren't you just a little bit chubby to be doing that?
This phrase, as far as I can remember, was never actually used on a chubby person, but rather on anyone or anything that was doing anything at all. It made no sense back in the 70s, and even less now, but hearing it always made me laugh, and still does. You can find out how depraved you are by imagining saying it to random people you have interactions with in your life: a police officer writing a ticket comes to mind. Wouldn't it be awfully tempting to walk up to the officer and mention that perhaps he was a bit too chubby to be doing what he was doing? It's not supposed to make terrific sense, so don't even try. When I witnessed the Phelps Clan stirring up the locals with their hateful epithets I dearly wanted to ask them if they weren't, in point of fact, just a little bit too chubby to be doing what they were doing. But I did not, and the rest is history.
Here's some song lyrics in honor of my dear lost friend, but if you try to sing them ask yourself: aren't you just a little bit too chubby to be doing that? You'll be glad you did.
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You're Just a Little Bit Chubby to be Doing That
by mjs
hey you, put those tools back, you won't need them
forget about the hammer and the nails
close the can of paint, cause painting you ain't
you're just a little bit chubby to be doing that
hey you, get off that german tank
tell your brother to get out of europe
to beat a swift retreat will take some mighty feet
and you're just a little bit chubby to be doing that
(chorus)
when you are chubby you are able
to lift a fork and then to lift a spoon
sleep in real late, don't need a date
it only takes one to fill an empty room
ain't no need to pass the hat
money ain't where you're at
you're just a little bit chubby
you're just a little bit chubby
you're just a little bit too chubby
to be doing that
hey you, i don't want no cable installation
and don't try to fix the kitchen sink
try as you might it ain't all right
you're just a little bit chubby to be doing that
i heard that guy talking on the tv
telling me just what i ought to think
well he's a fool, and it ain't cool
when you're just a little bit chubby to be doing that
just a bit too chubby, that's a fact
(chorus)
when you are chubby you are able
to lift a fork and then to lift a spoon
sleep in real late, don't need a date
it only takes one to fill an empty room
ain't no need to pass the hat
money ain't where you're at
you're just a little bit chubby
you're just a little bit chubby
you're just a little bit too chubby
to be doing that
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Excuse me, but aren't you just a little bit chubby to be doing that?
This phrase, as far as I can remember, was never actually used on a chubby person, but rather on anyone or anything that was doing anything at all. It made no sense back in the 70s, and even less now, but hearing it always made me laugh, and still does. You can find out how depraved you are by imagining saying it to random people you have interactions with in your life: a police officer writing a ticket comes to mind. Wouldn't it be awfully tempting to walk up to the officer and mention that perhaps he was a bit too chubby to be doing what he was doing? It's not supposed to make terrific sense, so don't even try. When I witnessed the Phelps Clan stirring up the locals with their hateful epithets I dearly wanted to ask them if they weren't, in point of fact, just a little bit too chubby to be doing what they were doing. But I did not, and the rest is history.
Here's some song lyrics in honor of my dear lost friend, but if you try to sing them ask yourself: aren't you just a little bit too chubby to be doing that? You'll be glad you did.
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You're Just a Little Bit Chubby to be Doing That
by mjs
hey you, put those tools back, you won't need them
forget about the hammer and the nails
close the can of paint, cause painting you ain't
you're just a little bit chubby to be doing that
hey you, get off that german tank
tell your brother to get out of europe
to beat a swift retreat will take some mighty feet
and you're just a little bit chubby to be doing that
(chorus)
when you are chubby you are able
to lift a fork and then to lift a spoon
sleep in real late, don't need a date
it only takes one to fill an empty room
ain't no need to pass the hat
money ain't where you're at
you're just a little bit chubby
you're just a little bit chubby
you're just a little bit too chubby
to be doing that
hey you, i don't want no cable installation
and don't try to fix the kitchen sink
try as you might it ain't all right
you're just a little bit chubby to be doing that
i heard that guy talking on the tv
telling me just what i ought to think
well he's a fool, and it ain't cool
when you're just a little bit chubby to be doing that
just a bit too chubby, that's a fact
(chorus)
when you are chubby you are able
to lift a fork and then to lift a spoon
sleep in real late, don't need a date
it only takes one to fill an empty room
ain't no need to pass the hat
money ain't where you're at
you're just a little bit chubby
you're just a little bit chubby
you're just a little bit too chubby
to be doing that
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Comments
-Oscar
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