The Western monotheistic construct "God" has mysteriously and consistently remained mum on issues relating to economics, or at least that is the consensus of amateur theologians at my corner bar. Ed Rockingtoad, a former iron worker and polecat therapist who hardly ever (once in two years) buys anyone a drink, suggested during an ad hoc seminar (held at the end of the bar that gets the fresher pretzels) that the Lord just doesn't want to go there. Said Ed:
Other analysts at my local bar were watching Judge Judy with a lurid intensity and declined to comment on this story. But regarding what is happening on Wall Street and across the financial globe: many of you with pensions and mutual funds are really, really fucked. And everybody else is pretty much fucked as well, except billionaires who have no souls and therefore cannot be intimidated by Bronze Age deities.
All for now!
++++
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away but He has no use for our stuff, so, eh, after He taketh it away He gives it to really wealthy people. And they invest it! And then it's gone again! A miracle!Earlene Effington, a retired school teacher, had this to say about Wall Street and the latest fiascos that threaten to precipitate a worldwide Depression:
Jesus threw the money changers out of the temple! So now, when you go to church, you have to bring change, even though there is change in the offering plate. You're not supposed to make change or Jesus will punch you. You think that's funny? You think that's funny? Assholes...God has previously weighed in on the righteousness of engaging in wars against brown people, gays contributing to storms in the Gulf of Mexico, Little Timmy at last getting a base hit in T-ball and the importance of not eating shellfish. God refused all requests for an interview for this story, and then made Earlene vomit on the Pac Man machine (again!)
Other analysts at my local bar were watching Judge Judy with a lurid intensity and declined to comment on this story. But regarding what is happening on Wall Street and across the financial globe: many of you with pensions and mutual funds are really, really fucked. And everybody else is pretty much fucked as well, except billionaires who have no souls and therefore cannot be intimidated by Bronze Age deities.
All for now!
++++
Comments