Mortaljive: The Rest is Silence

There is no still point in all the Universe, and that is the rock upon which I stand

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Bush Threatens To Veto His Own Impeachment



(Jivester News, Lmtd.) It has been reported, via sources who ask that their identities not be revealed and that their fingerprints be removed from their hands, that during an impromptu stroll along the Northern Parapet of Castle White House, President Bush told two Secret Service men and a Dick Cheney impersonator "...gonna let you in on a little bit of reality with a capital T, lads: I'm gonna veto any attempt to impeach me! Rejected! Rejected! Ha-ha! Look at me, ma! I'm sitting on top of the world! I am the Vetoer! Manfred, get me the Flight Suit--I'm going airborne! Coo coo cachoo!"

White House spokesman Tony Snow, upon hearing of Bush's manly declaration of omnipotency, initially refused to come out of the FOX News Trailer in the front driveway--after a few minutes of no one asking him anything he popped his head out and yelled "(garbled)...serve at the pleasure of the President. That's what I do, I do it well, I do it better than just about anyone. I serve at his goddamn pleasure! I am a pleasure-serving son-of-a-bitch, and that's how he likes it, and that's how I like it! What's not to like? Huh? Answer me! Answer me!" Snow then quickly ducked back into the FOX trailer, at which time a few reporters noted the "If This Trailer's Jackin' You Know We're Whackin'" bumber sticker. A few heads nodded, sort of.

Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) issued a statement "...reaffirming the Democratic mission of funding the supplemental troop bill with an additional twenty-five million dollars to provide seventy-five additional Marines with all the equipment and supplies they would require to gain entry into the White House and remove that congenital oaf bastard with extreme prejudice." "Veto that, you fucking weirdo," added Pelosi, smiling in that chilling way women sometimes smile when they have a knife pointed at your ballsack.

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Jivester News is the property of Parallel Universe Productions and is in no way responsible for any rumors about a Dick Cheney impersonator wandering freely about the Villa White House, just waiting for a chance to start pushing as many buttons as he can find when the opportunity arises.

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"Kings Have Long Arms" image from here.

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