Mortaljive: The Rest is Silence

There is no still point in all the Universe, and that is the rock upon which I stand

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Karl Rove to Star in New Gilbert & Sullivan Opera

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From "The Pissants of Pennsylvania Avenue"

Third Act, Scene 4

Day Room, the White House--Condi lies on her back on The Big Desk, Andy Card is passed out, George is hiding underneath the carpet, Ken Mehlman is busy in the upper-stage-right corner trying to get Scooter to sniff his armpits through his shirt. Various staff members are dressed as Hessians and Samurai.

Karl Rove enters the inner circle, carrying a large sword, which he plays with as he instructs those in attendance how best to deal with an inconsequential issue concerning treason...

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(KARL)
We aim to be convivial
But treason is so trivial
Must we go remedial?
Perjury’s not a crime

The Times? They’re not a changing
Just the facts are rearranging
Like when Peking became Beijing
Let’s not spell it out too fine

There never was a peril
Until this guy Fitzgerald
Became some kind of feral
Sour grape upon the vine

The goose is not the gander
Don’t get your feathers in a dander
Stay on point, do not meander
Say it firmly, do not whine:

(chorus--ALL)
Nothing ever happened—nothing ever does
Nothing to discover, in the “now” or in the “was”
So and so may have said this and that or thus
The truth shall set you free, my friend
But it's me you have to trust
The truth shall set you free, my friend
But it's me you have to trust

(KARL)
If you work in Government
And your boss was Heaven Sent
You know indeed who pays your rent
It’s not the Working Class

Quid pro quo and tit for tat
The leakers on the nation shat
But we are not to go judge that
Our House is made of glass

A blow job means impeachment
The perjury? Appeasement
A way to get an easement
Across the White House grass

But now with agents outed
We are safe, do not doubt it
No one dared from rooftops shouted:
“This conspiracy is vast!”

(chorus)
Nothing ever happened—nothing ever does
Nothing to discover, in the “now” or in the “was”
So and so may have said this and that or thus
The truth shall set you free, my friend
But it's me you have to trust
The truth shall set you free, my friend
But it's me you have to trust

(KARL)
Make betrayal the new sensation
That will sweep across the nation
Let’s turn in all the agents
Ah, I preach unto the choir...

The law is so persnickety
Its foundations are quite rickety
The clock it goes tock-tickety
We are coming to the wire!

It’s time to end the intrigue
Spying brings us only fatigue
Let’s give all the agents new gigs
Put their old ones on the pyre

Remember: there’s no story here
Nothing matters, nothing, dear
If you oppose us then you’re queer
Best to help us build the fire!

(chorus)
Nothing ever happened—nothing ever does
Nothing to discover, in the “now” or in the “was”
So and so may have said this and that or thus
The truth shall set you free, my friend
But it's me you have to trust
The truth shall set you free, my friend
But it's me you have to trust

(All exit save George, who drops to his knees and pretends to pray)

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Image from here.

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