Mortaljive: The Rest is Silence

There is no still point in all the Universe, and that is the rock upon which I stand

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Democratic Talking Point Oracle Back From Oblivion


Talking Point Oracle Manifestation #1

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NOTE: I am in the process of reposting here some of my entries at Correntewire. Why not?

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The Democratic Talking Point Oracle, missing since 1998, has reappeared and is ready to commence with his "oracalizing" once again. I spoke with the Oracle early this morning before collapsing upon the rocky flat of an abandoned quarry in Hollywood. I think it was the burning light of an unadorned Talking Point, a direct and un-muddled directive, that caused my collapse, but I did manage to make a few notes before the day turned to night, and dreams washed away the dust and worry of a world gone ballistic.

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I was walking up the path leading to Bronson Cave with my dog Chauncy when I spied a luminous apparition just above the main caves. I managed to take one didge picture before I was bodily lifted (and Chauncy was bodily panting next to me) and deposited at some place out of time but at the base of the Great Democratic Talking Point Oracle (GDTPO), which came as a shock to me. I thought he was only a legend, a rumor, a Real Estate salesman. He spoke, I listened, Chauncy yawned.

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GDTPO: What do you think of the caves?

MJS: Love 'em. Been coming up here since the early 80's.

GDTPO: I wasn't talking to you.

MJS: Oh.

CHAUNCY: Heh, heh.

GDTPO: Exactly. This was a quarry at one time, which was blasted and mined and finally abandoned, leaving these small caves behind.

(long boring pause,followed by...)

GDTPO: I came here in 1998 and was about to leave when I stumbled on a rock and fell into...into...what's the word?

MJS: An abyss?

CHAUNCY: Squirrel?

GDTPO: Yes, I fell into a squirrel, and was transported into the Vaulted Sky and was no more.

(short pause)

GDTPO: But now I'm back and am ready to give out verbal gems and poetic issuances, the better to guide the mewling mobs of inchoate Democrats to the land of Majority Office Holders.

CHAUNCY: Inchoate?

GDTPO: Yes. Chaotic, newly and/or imperfectly formed or developed.

CHAUNCY: Are you going to take that from him?

MJS: Look, he's apparently an oracle. If he wants to use inchoate when an easier to understand and more precise word, such as chaotic or incohesive, would do, well, that's his...

GDTPO: I haven't got all day, people.

CHAUNCY: Proceed.

GDTPO: I will hereforth issue easy to understand and coherent Talking Points, which you, MJS (if those are your real fake initials) will relay to the proper...the proper...eh, help me out here.

CHAUNCY: Dogs?

MJS: Interested parties, blog readers, members of the blog community, democrats and free-thinking, Constitution-defending people and their ilk?

GDTPO: Dogs it is.

(Chauncy gives me an "I told you so" look, but he's very cute so I let it go)

GDTPO: Talking Point of the Day:

(the sky swept into swirling clouds, rain bedashed our features, a lake of burning fire rose, some tourists squealed, the Oracle batted his eyes, and then came His Words...)

GDTPO: In the Matter of World Religions, and of the Three Monotheistic Traditions out of the Middle East: if a religion seeks no harm, if the better angels of our nature are invoked to feed the poor, make well the sick, embrace the devastated, and guide the self to love for all, well, the Democratic Party says 'Hello to all that.' But if those who would lead their followers invoke threats, violence, hatred, misdirections: if those who would lead their flocks ignore the destruction of the earth, the weakening of the family through unfair wages and practices, if a Person of Faith speaks of Eden but builds the Foundations of Hell here on the Earth, they will be called to task! Pat Roberston: you are a violation of the Prince of Peace! Osama bin Laden: To merely become the worst parts of your enemy is not victory! Lastly, to Jonah Goldberg: the Dry Cleaner called and says your doughy pantloaded pants are once again immaculate!

MJS: Is there a shorter version?

CHAUNCY: Yeah, something snappy and to the point?

GDTPO: Of for...yes. Here is the talking point (condensed): Those who would speak of Paradise, who by their actions destroy the only life we know, who set their flocks to hatred and violence and fear, must be called to account. Never shrink from the duty of the Body Politic to protect the rights and the lands of all, not just a fevered group. Never shrink from disabusing the demagogues of their self-righteous venom! If their God is not a God of Peace, Compasssion and the Wisdom of Reason then such a God is no God of Democracy.

MJS: That's it: you come out of wherever you were and your first Talking Point is how to have an easy to understand and consistent position on the abuses of belief, faith and religion?

GDTPO: You catch on quick, Jivester. Until the next Talking Point, adieu!

Then the sky vanished, and the Earth rushed up and I fell hard upon the ground, and my nose hurt. Chauncy lay next to me and rolled his eyes. Smart ass.

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Chauncy, Dog of Light & Love

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