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New York (AP) Noted New York Times journalist and sometime note-taker Judy Miller has agreed to write, star, direct and produce a new version of the beloved British import "The Avengers" anonymous sources who are still talking to Miller have reported. One source, who asked to be doused with gasoline and lit on fire if Miller came within "200 paces" of him, said the recently much-maligned sack-of-shit game-playing war-shilling, duplicitious Dick Cheney-fellating, butt-plugging Lady Macbeth with-blood-all-over-her-hands-bitch she-hole has a "deal in faith" with an un-named Network. "She's very excited about this career change," said the ghost of a dead Iraqi child who appeared floating briefly above the sidewalk in front of the New York Times building. "She has left her mark on so many lives, it is time for her to move on," continued the ectoplasmic vapors of what was once a living and breathing little girl who had been reassured her destruction was an inescapable part of "messy" war. A second ghost, that of an American GI who died fighting The War Based Upon Lies and Profiteering, nodded his head and vanished into thin air.
After contacting the "un-named" Network it was established that Ms. Miller was not, in fact, "engaged in any discussions or development deals" with a production company, much less an actual Network. There have been rumors of her being hired as a spokesperson for a Texas-based septic tank company, but those rumors have not been confirmed. Additional reportings of Miller walking around Rockefeller Plaza while screaming "What do I have to do to get arrested in this town?" have been met with many citizens of the Big People offering ideas of how she could not only be arrested again but also how to stuff her in a mason jar and stick her on a prairie fence next to bullet-riddled tin cans. Who would have thought so many New Yorkers would be so Prairie Conscious?
Who indeed!
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Image from here.
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