CAN I GET AN AMEN, KHEPRI?

Proposed Unity Prayer

Dear Father/Mother, Mother/Father, disembodied abstraction, Creative Life Force, Uncreated-Creating, Uncreated Kickin' It, we do beseech Thee for guidance, wisdom, grace and whatever else You got lying around and aren’t using anymore.

We know You don’t like questions that require updating old, sacred texts. Your days of churning out rules and directing priestly writings are over and done, gone and good-bye. You wrote the Universe, and then either got the biggest case of Writer’s Block in history, or You went off to go backpacking in a worm hole, or both, or neither. Are we getting warmer?

Anyhoo, dear Alpha and Omega of Everything, we ask, with all due reverence, that You inflict some minor maladies on those who would justify rotten behavior, crappy manners, murderous adventuring and the suppression of “equal rights for all” by invoking some specific, alarmingly cruel understanding of Your ways. If You would be so kind as to visit mild nausea, dizziness, headaches and the occasional spastic colon upon the hate-mongers, we would be forever in Your debt. Kind of like we already are.

Thank you, dear Silent Void Mimic, shall we take Your usual non-response as a “Yes?” We thought so.

May You never trip on Your Totality, and may Total Consciousness give you enough of a break so You can catch up on Your summer reading.

Amen

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