(George Galloway agreed to report from the floor of the U.S. Senate during the proceedings regarding the so-called "Nuclear Option" and share his thoughts with me. In return I have agreed to post his words. A simple deal, made all the more attractive by its complete disregard for reality)
Galloway reporting here. What a vomitous vortex of self-important bandicoots. Egads! Here on the floor of the U.S. Senate it all looks so very cafeteria-like, what with all the trays and food scraps beneath the senator's ass cosys. Oh great drunken worm diddlers, another one is blathering about something. Why don't you go lick a dog's pizzler, you daft cretin? I'll show you what-for, you puttock! Don't fain ignorance, you chum-breathed cornhole wrangler. That's right, I'm talking to you. Have the decency to at least wipe the shit off your mouth before hurling your kidney bits everywhere!
Another Senator is reaching for his...fuckin' iPod! He's listening to some dick-bellied hoosier sing about Jesus loving money-hoarders or somesuch tin can of rotting mackeral. Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, you gutless inbred oxygen waster! You want some of me? Unlike you I have not bent over for every greasy corporate muddledredger who wants to stick his dripping gopher wand into a bilge drain. Oh, kiss my angel's clit, you fucktwaddling stick biter! I'll wonk you silly, you mincing, princing pony fluffer!
Certain developments have arisen...I am going to have to run over to the other side.
(two minutes later) Security is advancing towards me...Listen, you pasty faced tic guzzlers, you can no more apprehend me than find your own ears! Try and catch me, you lumbering plank-browed giglets! It's hard to say if the filibuster will survive these rank shit-eaters. You never know, but they all didn't mind sending their country's youth off to kill in Iraq--That's right, you pathological assassins! Death to everyone but you and your sweetheart money bags, your lake views and your back alley blow jobs. Fuck off! You have nothing but lies to steer your course by, and soon there will be nothing but lies everywhere and you won't be allowed to come home! You can't kill everybody, or drag the truth around like some Fristian Cat Corpse for all time, can you? Oh, go fuck a light standard, you gaseous toad humpers!
Well, Security is closing in with a resoluteness heretofore un-witnessed on the Senate floor. I have to leave, but let me say that it was an honor and a privilege to report these sober proceedings so that all of America can...Oh, go eat your own puddle driblets, you godless drones!
End of transmission
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Galloway reporting here. What a vomitous vortex of self-important bandicoots. Egads! Here on the floor of the U.S. Senate it all looks so very cafeteria-like, what with all the trays and food scraps beneath the senator's ass cosys. Oh great drunken worm diddlers, another one is blathering about something. Why don't you go lick a dog's pizzler, you daft cretin? I'll show you what-for, you puttock! Don't fain ignorance, you chum-breathed cornhole wrangler. That's right, I'm talking to you. Have the decency to at least wipe the shit off your mouth before hurling your kidney bits everywhere!
Another Senator is reaching for his...fuckin' iPod! He's listening to some dick-bellied hoosier sing about Jesus loving money-hoarders or somesuch tin can of rotting mackeral. Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, you gutless inbred oxygen waster! You want some of me? Unlike you I have not bent over for every greasy corporate muddledredger who wants to stick his dripping gopher wand into a bilge drain. Oh, kiss my angel's clit, you fucktwaddling stick biter! I'll wonk you silly, you mincing, princing pony fluffer!
Certain developments have arisen...I am going to have to run over to the other side.
(two minutes later) Security is advancing towards me...Listen, you pasty faced tic guzzlers, you can no more apprehend me than find your own ears! Try and catch me, you lumbering plank-browed giglets! It's hard to say if the filibuster will survive these rank shit-eaters. You never know, but they all didn't mind sending their country's youth off to kill in Iraq--That's right, you pathological assassins! Death to everyone but you and your sweetheart money bags, your lake views and your back alley blow jobs. Fuck off! You have nothing but lies to steer your course by, and soon there will be nothing but lies everywhere and you won't be allowed to come home! You can't kill everybody, or drag the truth around like some Fristian Cat Corpse for all time, can you? Oh, go fuck a light standard, you gaseous toad humpers!
Well, Security is closing in with a resoluteness heretofore un-witnessed on the Senate floor. I have to leave, but let me say that it was an honor and a privilege to report these sober proceedings so that all of America can...Oh, go eat your own puddle driblets, you godless drones!
End of transmission
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Comments
I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!