Leader of the Leveraged World, George W. Bush, and Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson have agreed to a plan to rescue failing speculative Wall Street banking institutions by pouring Rohypnol into the nation's collective cocktail. "By getting her loopy and loose, we should be able to do the job we need to do," said former cheerleader and current monkey impressionist Bush to a collection of garden gnomes located near the White House lawn.
Paulson, a white man who plays with money, seconded Bush's comments by adding, "With enough lubricant we can put anything into anything, subsequently pull that initial anything out, then put it back in again into that other anything." When asked just what it was he was driving at, Paulson responded by grinding his hips in a rhythmic motion while moaning softly. When the plan would be implemented remains unclear, though Bush did audibly whisper "...look at her...it's nasty time, boys and girls...
The entire nation swears it only had a couple kamikazes and barely half of its Long Island Iced Tea, and maybe a couple sips of its girlfriend's mojitos--oh, yeah, of course, a few jello shooters. Asked if it remembered being violated, the Nation pointed to a stain on its shirt and exclaimed "I do not swallow strangers!"
Bush and Paulson were last seen leaving the party in a buddy's BMW, carrying a sack filled with $700,000,000,000.00 They were reported to have muttered "...wait for the YouTube..."
You read it here first.
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Paulson, a white man who plays with money, seconded Bush's comments by adding, "With enough lubricant we can put anything into anything, subsequently pull that initial anything out, then put it back in again into that other anything." When asked just what it was he was driving at, Paulson responded by grinding his hips in a rhythmic motion while moaning softly. When the plan would be implemented remains unclear, though Bush did audibly whisper "...look at her...it's nasty time, boys and girls...
The entire nation swears it only had a couple kamikazes and barely half of its Long Island Iced Tea, and maybe a couple sips of its girlfriend's mojitos--oh, yeah, of course, a few jello shooters. Asked if it remembered being violated, the Nation pointed to a stain on its shirt and exclaimed "I do not swallow strangers!"
Bush and Paulson were last seen leaving the party in a buddy's BMW, carrying a sack filled with $700,000,000,000.00 They were reported to have muttered "...wait for the YouTube..."
You read it here first.
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