Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
The Sunlight Came in Through a Measurable Door
the sunlight came in through a measurable door
that opened on water and danced at the shore
the beams were but particles I caught in my gaze
that turned and returned in the form of great waves
it's a certain uncertainty, a past made pluperfect
for what had transpired led to different verdicts
an absolute fuzzy, a gray apparition
indeterminate forms, a quantum perdition
if "a" is not " b" that is all fine and dandy
when "a" is not "a" I reach for the brandy
for Science is not, at it's ultimate core
a place where the facts become metaphor
where meaning meanders, where evidence flounders
where logic and reason are left to sand-pounders
results must be tested! beware of rank sophistry!
and though life is elegant there's no testing poetry!
unless, to be fair, you have walked on that path
where Euclid and Escher take turns with the math
where Alice descends with animals feral
and dodges the facts laid out by olde Carroll
but I fear that I stray from the points on the compass
and lessons are tossed as we frolic and rumpus
Science, dear Science is not weakened in light
nor does it seek ridiculous fights
can you imagine, when sitting with friends
picking a conflict with Spinoza's lens?
or shaking a fist at the stars and the moon
while performing autopsies on the cat and the spoon?
subject and object, the yin and the yang
went out with Einstein and came in with a bang
but where to go now, in theory and thought?
and what is the point, when surrounded with rot?
that is the secret, that is the glory!
when faced with the lie to give lie to the story!
and seek not to win in a joust with a fool
the subject and object are not in a duel
Science is not circumscribed by the narrow
and space will but bend the straightest of arrows
subject and object, particle, wave
the ultimate truth or a game 'fore the grave?
you are a particle, you are a wave
nothing is spent for nothing is saved!
and if you are anxious, if the floor starts to give
fear not the uncertain, it's how we all live!
The above rhyme was my entry for the 2011 Charles Prize for Poetry Contest hosted by The Examning Room of Dr. Charles. From the website: "An award will be given to the writer who submits for consideration the most outstanding poem within the realm of health, science, or medicine." Deadline is September 30th, 2011.
Monday, September 12, 2011
God Let's Atheists' Calls Go Straight to Voice Mail!
According to someone at the Oakridge Assembly of God, if a non-believer calls the Lord, He who is the Alpha and Omega of Ultimate Reality will not answer the phone--He used to let it just ring and ring but now it goes straight to voice mail. Yes, God's got caller ID and He loves it, and can't for the life of Him figure out why He didn't embrace it sooner. When asked why an omniscient deity needs Caller ID to learn the identify of a given (atheist or not) individual, He stormed out (and I do mean stormed out) of the interview and went to go darken counsel at an indeterminate location. Okay, He went to a bar*.
A brief bit of background about Oakridge: it is a small logging town that didn't have a backup plan for when the logging industry began to lag, and has an undesirable combination of low median income, high unemployment and difficulty with Windows programming to the tune of $420,000 missing from the city coffers. Perhaps God would tell the good people of Oakridge where the money is, if only a true believer would call Him!
Remember: atheists don't know where the money went! Stupid atheists!
*Two glasses of Pinot Noir are enough to get Him singing in Latin. Awful, really. Embarrassing and awful.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Friday, September 09, 2011
Friday, dear Friday, How is it You Merit?
friday, dear friday, how is it you merit?
your name oft intoned like a magical ferret
and girls go all dreamy, and boys go robust
thinking of friday as wind? it would gust
for friday stands fierce, a great barrier
between the mere weekday and more is the merrier
a bulwark against the the bleakest depression
a place where one's fantasies can exclaim and hold session
for Friday was once the day we got paid
and with enough drinks we dared to get laid
and music was blaring and light was on fire
and girls with their skin, and their hair brought desire
for why did the monkey work so very hard
and walk up to strangers and offer his card?
and gather bananas and show off his butt?
to get some young cutie to sleep in his hut!
and though this can happen on monday or mid-week
the drama of it came upon friday's peak
a joint, a beer, a shot and a smoke
one last game of pool and one last tiny toke
but when you looked up, the hour had passed
and the girl that you fancied had exited fast
and suddenly saturday walked in like a duck
all soggy and goofy and shit out of luck
so just a reminder, for romantics all yearning:
keep your eye on the prize and use all your learning!
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
Rudy Giuliani's Impression of Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx once said that he would never join a club that would accept him as a member. Perhaps digging the irony implicit in such an observation, the former mayor of New York City, Mr. 9/11, the savior of the Big Apple, his Royal Rudy Giuliani states that he will only run for the highest office in the land if the GOP is really desperate. Giuliani does not appear to get his own jokes, i.e. that the Grand Old Party would have to be desperate to get his Rudyness--the plus side of his blind spot has kept his laugh lines to a manageable number.
Sunday, September 04, 2011
Lydia, in the World x 4
Labels: Lydia the Cat
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Ron Paul's America: Let it Bleed
As part of America's #1 Addled Muppet Ron Paul's plan to keep government out of governing, I offer up the Backyard Fracas Pulverizer as an example of how meddlesome government should just let America beat the shit out of itself, end of story. I bet 6'5" 35 year-olds everywhere will agree: bam! bam! bam!
Note: If oxygen-intolerant knuckle-draggers cannot be trusted with democracy, they really, really can't be trusted with libertarianism. There ain't enough fans for that shit to hit...