Mortaljive: The Rest is Silence

There is no still point in all the Universe, and that is the rock upon which I stand

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

A 3-Peat, to Beat the Heat: Sweet!



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Friday, July 24, 2009

No Resting In Peace On Their Watch



Silverton Cemetery
Silverton, Oregon

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

How Much is that Goddess in the Window?



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Monday, July 20, 2009

I Really Want to Kiss You When I Come Inside

I don't normally write explicitly sexual lyrics, but I'm horny
today, so there you have it. Cut to the chase...

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my heart was breaking back in '92
i held her in my arms in her swimming pool
i was nothing if i wasn't a fool
for her love

i remember back in '79
i wanted her so bad, if i could make her mine
i wanted to eat her till she screamed so fine
for her love

i would do anything
i would do anything
to kiss her lips made me want to cry:
i really want to kiss you when i come inside
oh, oh, oh

i was a wreck back in '88
i just figured i would leave it to fate
this lady whispered when she opened her gate
come inside

then came a day back in '94
i saw her walking her dog before
she cussed me out but i wanted some more
come inside
come inside
oh

i would do anything
i would do anything
to kiss her lips made me want to cry:
i really want to kiss you when i come inside
oh, oh, oh

everybody's different, everybody's the same
some things are hopeless but i hope for them the same
when i'm in love that's the end of the game
close your eyes

i went to the movies deep inside my head
i saw so many women laying on my bed
some would hold me but some would see red
close your eyes

i would do anything
i would do anything
to kiss her lips made me want to cry:
i really want to kiss you when i come inside
oh, oh, oh

my heart was breaking back in '92
i held her in my arms in her swimming pool
i was nothing if i wasn't a fool
for her love

i remember back in '79
i wanted her so bad, if i could make her mine
i wanted to eat her till she screamed so fine
for her love

i would do anything
i would do anything
to kiss her lips made me want to cry:
i really want to kiss you when i come inside
oh, oh, oh

i was a wreck back in '88
i just figured i would leave it to fate
this lady whispered when she opened her gate
come inside

then came a day back in '94
i saw her walking her dog before
she cussed me out but i wanted some more
come inside
come inside
oh

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

Backyard Flowers





If I could grow a singer
In the garden out in back
I would water Johnny Cash
And then I'd fade to black

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Ride With Me

the water came to the desert
and the crops grew
and the people came in droves
driving, driving, driving:

we are the millions
we are the horde
we are the teeming colony
knocking at the door
come to knock you around some more

cement and asphalt for miles
and miles
man, it was paradise
man, it was hell
and we laughed and we cringed
and smoked our words
like dictionary weeds

the cycles were always there:
rain, drought, fire, flood
every thirty years
we put nails in another messiah
and sold posters of the event

ride with me, conquering drones
ride with me to splendor and the sea
ride with me and we will drown
our troubles, you and me

and the palm trees are swaying
and the bullets are ricocheting
and the night is coming
ride with me
ride with me
ride with me
to splendor and the sea


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Inspired by barryshap...

"The streets were dark with something more then night."
— Raymond Chandler

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Saturday, July 11, 2009

Awaiting New Veterans



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Thursday, July 02, 2009

The Opinuary Column



The Opinion Global Warming is a sham, a vast conspiracy promulgated by scientists who want to jerk with just about everybody who is trying to make a buck, but Abrahaminic religions are sacrosanct and worthy of the unyielding devotion of billions of humanoids has died a profoundly messy, feverish and tidal-surging death of epic proportions. It is commonly known that the Bronze Age metaphysical assertions that God = the ineffable source, Man ≠ God, and that God is separate from Nature makes most of the family bored out of their fucking skulls by the time their third can of PBR cascades down to the bottom of their throat-canal. This tiresome subject is the dud in the 4th of July Family Pack, and should be disposed of by a FOX News intern.

Family of the Opinion believe that talking about religion is taboo not merely because feelings will be hurt but because the nature of such discussions usually deposit one into a vague and gauzy land of indistinct and non-quantifiable assertions, and unless you yell something threatening like "Jesus will cut your dick off" to the commie queer across the street it really is a rather tired and perfunctory exercise--though yelling at strangers will at least increase your heart rate. One's core belief in a bellicose Jewish deity who mates with a teenager to create a savior who will stave off his father's desire to burn your ass for eternity for the crime of having been created is dubious only to those who have not ceased to incorporate oxygen into their lungs, where said oxygen can then be distributed throughout the body via the vascular system and ultimately keep the brain from turning into a gravied plate of Zombie Loaf.

The Opinion's strength was also its weakness, as it consisted of making material assertions about a supernatural deity while ignoring measurable, peer-reviewed data about climate change, a great one-two punch of daffy cognitive dissonance at its most punchable. Were this an honest nation the Dropping Jaw Catcher 6000 would be the best selling facial recovery sling on the market, and by golly, everybody with a prehensile thumb that is not on prostate patrol knows it.

The Opinion, which has combined conspiratorial fear with infantile gullibility for nigh on three decades, will be cremated in the Fires of Satan Brothers Crematory (Bring the Kids!), after which its ashes are to be scattered over Christian Polar Bears as they drown in the waters of The Great White North. The Family of the Opinion has no idea this column even exists, so you probably don't even have to buy flowers. If you feel guilty send me a check and I will pretend to pray for you.

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The Opinuary Column appears Friday afternoons at Jesus' General.

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